Success – to be, or not to be

I had just turned the big 4-0 and remember having a mini-breakdown to my husband.

Hands on face, in disbelief:

“I’m 40!

What have I done with my life?

What contributions have I made to mankind?

What will be my legacy?”

You know, all the hard-hitting questions!

My beautiful husband turned to me and said, “So, having a full-time career, raising three amazing children, hosting wonderful events bringing friends and family together – is that not enough?”

Insert deer in headlights …..Was it enough?

A Turning Point

Entering my 40s, then leaving the safety of my corporate gig, starting my own business and now heading towards 50 – I have found this question popping into my head many times. What does success look like?

Throughout my corporate career, I thought success was climbing the corporate ladder, leading hundreds of people, earning the big bucks, and travelling to exotic destinations. And look, I did do this:

• I climbed the corporate ladder, reaching executive level.
• I led 1000 people.
• I was earning pretty good money.
• I was travelling every week – not necessarily exotic but travelling.

Tick, tick, tick, and tick.

Success, success, success, and success!

The Realisation

On reflection, I realise that this did not constitute what success looks like for me today. I compromised on my morals, I was always worried about what others thought of me, I was stressed, and I didn’t really enjoy my executive status.

• I lost connections with my teams.
• I didn’t value the money I was earning.
• I was away from my family more than I saw them.
• I was sick, I was homesick, and to be quite frank, I didn’t like the person I had become.

I was recently listening to Brene Browns Dare to Lead podcast, where she discusses ‘Success vs Mastery’. It has become quite apparent I have been living in the world of ‘Mastery’ for way to long.

It’s up to you to create the life that gets you excited to wake up in the mornings

womenblazingtrails.com

A New Path

Fast forward, and I made the bold decision to resign from my 23-year stellar career to focus on what I wanted and how I wanted to do it.

When I started my coaching business, I wanted to be flat out with clients, work from home, run workshops, webinars, and events, see my kids off in the morning, and enjoy a cuppa and afternoon tea with them when they got home from school. I wanted to earn the big bucks and enjoy a life that I deserved – Hell yeah, that was my success criteria!

…and then late last year, I had the stark realisation that what I thought I wanted and what I actually did want – were two completely different things. That moment of clarity as I became acutely aware of what I really wanted out of this life.

I don’t need to earn hundreds of thousands.

I don’t actually want to work full time anymore.

I want to take time out to support my chronic health issues.

I don’t need to have millions of clients – in fact, I need time between each client to recharge so that I can be the best version of me for both of us.

I want to have lunch every day with my husband.

I want to have an afternoon nap if I want.

Redefining Success

It was the ‘ah-ha’ moment that I needed. For all these years, I had been comparing myself to something that I actually didn’t want or need. To be honest, after 23 years of hustle and bustle, I want a quiet life. A life where I can take time to just be.

So now I know, to me success is:

• Being with my family.
• Having a business I love to show up to.
• Supporting business owners and leaders through my coaching programs.
• Focusing on my health and well-being.
• Spending the first 30 minutes of my day, having a cuppa on the verandah greeting the day with love and excitement.
• …and not worrying about what the rest of the world thinks.

This is just the beginning, and its only going to get better from here

Lessons Learned

1.    Success is very personal.

2.    Don’t compare! Your version of success is different to mine.

3.    Success is knowing you have always done your best

4.    You are the guardian of your success – no one else can quantify or qualify your success.

5.    Understanding and accepting the difference between wanting and needing

6.    Just because you switch direction, pivot or re-prioritise, doesn’t mean you are failing – in fact, you are more successful because you are listening to your needs

7.    Success is taking care of you first

8.    Celebrate the small stuff

9.    Success is having courage and self-belief

10. Never give up

11. Live a life of abundance. It is important to give and allow yourself to receive.

What Does Success Look Like for You?

Success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s a deeply personal journey that evolves with time and experience. What once seemed like the pinnacle of achievement may later reveal itself to be just one chapter in your life’s story.

As you ponder what success means to you, consider these helpful hints:

1. Reflect on Your Values

Take time to identify what truly matters to you. Your values will serve as a compass, guiding your decisions and actions toward a fulfilling definition of success.

2. Set Meaningful Goals

Define what you want to achieve in different areas of your life. Make sure these goals align with your values and reflect your true desires, not societal expectations.

3. Celebrate Your Achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your milestones, no matter how small they may seem. Each step forward is a testament to your progress and growth.

4. Prioritise Self-Care

Your well-being is crucial to your success. Prioritise self-care practices that nourish your mind, body, and spirit.

5. Embrace Change

Be open to reevaluating and adjusting your goals as you grow and evolve. Change is a natural part of life and can lead to new opportunities and insights.

6. Seek Support

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Share your journey with those who understand and respect your vision of success.

7. Trust Your Intuition

Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts. Your intuition is a powerful tool that can guide you toward decisions that resonate with your authentic self.

8. Give Back

Find ways to contribute to your community or causes you care about. Giving back adds a sense of purpose and fulfillment to your life.

9. Stay Grateful

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for what you have and what you’ve achieved. Gratitude shifts your focus to the positive aspects of your life.

10. Keep Learning

Commit to lifelong learning and personal growth. Each new experience and piece of knowledge enriches your understanding of success.

In conclusion, success is not a destination but a journey. It’s a continuous process of aligning your actions with your values, celebrating your progress, and living a life that brings you joy and fulfillment. What does success look like for you? Only you can define it, and only you can create it. Embrace your journey and celebrate the unique path you are on.

Are you ready to re-define success?

If you are re-thinking, re-defining or re-imagining what success means to you and maybe having a few troubles really digging deep to understand what it all means, please reach out today for a complimentary, not obligation chat with me https://nicholstark.com.au/useful-links/

Here’s to your success <3

Nic xx