Success – to be, or not to be

I had just turned the big 4-0 and remember having a mini-breakdown to my husband.

Hands-on face, in disbelief

I’m 40!

What have I done with my life?

What contributions have I made to mankind?

What will be my legacy?

You know, all the hard-hitting questions!!

My beautiful husband turned to me and said, so having a full-time career, raising 3 amazing children, hosting wonderful events bringing friends and family together – is that not enough?

Insert deer in headlights …..was it enough?

Entering my 40’s, then leaving the safety of my corporate gig, starting my own business and now heading towards 50 – I have found this question popping into my head many times.

What does success look like?

Throughout my corporate career, I thought success was climbing the corporate ladder, leading hundreds of people, earning the big bucks and travelling to exotic destinations, …and look, I did do this.

  • I climbed the corporate ladder reaching executive level
  • I lead a 1000 people
  • I was earning pretty good money
  • And I was travelling every week – not necessarily exotic but travelling.

Tick, tick, tick, and tick.

Success, success, success and success!

…or was it?

On reflection, I realise that this did not constitute what success looks like for me today. I compromised on my morals, I was always worried about what others thought of me, I was stressed and I didn’t really enjoy my executive status.

I lost connections with my teams.

I didn’t value the money I was earning.

….and I was away from my family more than I saw them.

I was sick, I was homesick and to be quite frank, I didn’t like the person I had become.

It’s up to you to create the life that gets you excited to wake up in the mornings

womenblazingtrails.com

Fast forward and I made the bold decision to resign from my 23-year stellar career to focus on what I wanted and how I wanted to do it.

When I started my coaching business, I wanted to be flat out with clients, work from home, run workshops, webinars and events, see my kids off in the morning and enjoy a cuppa and afternoon tea with them when they got home from school. I wanted to earn the big bucks and enjoy a life that I deserve – Hell yeah, that was my success criteria!

….and then late last year, I had the stark realisation that what I thought I wanted and what I actually did want – were 2 completely different things. That moment of clarity as I became acutely aware of what I really wanted out of this life.

What does success look like post

don’t actually want to work full time anymore.

want to take time out to support my chronic health issues

don’t need to have millions of clients – infact, I need time between each client to recharge, so that I can be the best version of me for both of us.

want to have lunch every day with my husband.

want to have an afternoon nap if I want.

don’t need to earn hundreds and thousands

It was the ‘ah-ha’ moment that I needed. For all these years I had been comparing myself to something that I actually didn’t want or need. To be honest, after 23 years of hustle and bustle, I want a quiet life. A life that I can take time to just be.

So now I know, to me success is:

  • Being with my family.
  • Having a business I love to show up to.
  • Supporting Business owners and Leaders through my coaching programs.
  • Focussing on my health and well being.
  • Spending the first 30mins of my day, having a cuppa on the verandah greeting the day with love and excitement
  • ….and not worrying about what the rest of the world thinks

This is just the beginning, and its only going to get better from here

What have I learnt during this time:

1.    Success is very personal.

2.    Don’t compare! Your version of success is different to mine.

3.    Success is knowing you have always done your best

4.    You are the guardian of your success – no one else can quantify or qualify your success.

5.    Understanding and accepting the difference between wanting and needing

6.    Just because you switch direction, pivot or re-prioritise, doesn’t mean you are failing – in fact, you are more successful because you are listening to your needs

7.    Success is taking care of you first

8.    Celebrate the small stuff

9.    Success is having courage and self-belief

10. Never give up

11. Live a life of abundance. It is important to give and allow yourself to receive.

So what does success look like for you?

Nic xx

Life Coaching for Women - Nichol Stark

Hi, I'm Nichol Stark Soulful Business Coach

I’m a heart-centred mentor and coach for gorgeous souls wanting to break free and take their business from hobby to full-time success. My one-to-one or group coaching helps you uncover your true purpose so you can grow a business using strategy, strength and intuition.

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