Why don’t we talk about Menopause?

The Complex Journey of Menopause: Honouring the Transformation

Looking in the mirror, you might find yourself gazing at a woman you no longer recognise. The face that stares back reflects years of wisdom, experiences, and changes – both subtle and profound. It’s a face that tells the story of a life lived fully, with every laugh line and wrinkle a testament to your journey. Yet, amidst these signs of life’s experiences, there’s also a sense of disorientation. Who is this woman? Why does she feel so different, so unlike the person you’ve known yourself to be?

This is the complete mind fuck of menopause, a stage of life that is as challenging as it is transformative. It’s a time when your body, mind, and spirit undergo significant changes, some of which are anticipated, while others catch you completely off guard. The feelings of exhaustion that creep in, the whirlwind of emotions, the nights of interrupted sleep, and the bone-deep fatigue – all of these are part of the menopausal journey. But it’s more than just the physical changes; it’s the emotional and spiritual shifts that truly define this phase of life. It can be exhausting as well as exhilarating!


My Personal Menopause Journey

When I had a full hysterectomy at 46, I was told I would go straight into menopause. I was also told not to take oestrogen as it could have other impacts on my health. I braced myself for the hot flushes, mood swings, and all the mysterious menopause symptoms that everyone warned me about.

But for four years, nothing happened. No dramatic shifts, no unbearable symptoms. I thought maybe I had dodged the bullet.

Then I hit 51.

It started with itchy skin – so itchy and the driest of dry skin. I used to run hot due to thyroid issues – always hot. I lived a life of sweat and heat. And now? Now I am experiencing cold. My bones are cold. No amount of warm clothing or blankets seem to help. My heat fuelled body gone.

And then came the moment as my Dr stared deep deep deep inside my vagina, when he uttered the words ‘looks like you have vaginal atrophy’ … well doc, you could have bought me dinner first. WTF?! No one prepared me for this. And my libido? Well, it packed its bags and left. Which, of course, makes perfect sense when you realise I’m no longer making any oestrogen.

Then I started noticing the lines on my face becoming more prominent. The wrinkles at the corners of my mouth, around my lips – where the fuck did they come from?? I now understand that they are due to the drop in oestrogen. And it doesn’t stop there – I have the bones of a 75-year-old with osteoporosis. My muscles are wasting away. I feel like I am watching my body change before my eyes in ways I never anticipated.

Menopause is a strange and interesting experience. It has been challenging, confronting, and at times, deeply frustrating. But through it all, I have found a new sense of awareness about my body and what it needs.


The Physical Transformation: Navigating Uncharted Waters

The physical symptoms of menopause are often the most talked about, yet they are also deeply personal and unique to each woman. Some women feel the impact immediately, while for others, the changes creep in gradually over time.

Temperature Fluctuations

For years, I ran hot. My thyroid issues meant I was constantly sweating, my body overheating ALL THE TIME. But then menopause hit, and suddenly, I was cold. Not just chilly, but cold to my bones. Many women experience temperature fluctuations, swinging between unbearable heat and icy chills. It can feel like your body’s internal thermostat has completely lost the plot.

Skin and Hair Changes

Itchy, dry skin is a common menopausal symptom. Our skin loses its elasticity and moisture, leading to that papery, fragile feeling. Hair can thin, nails can become brittle, and our once-plump lips may lose volume. These changes can feel confronting, especially when they happen all at once. I am ok with the wrinkles – i appreciate the changes of someone who has loved, laughed and lived. My biggest struggle came from the loss of my beautiful long and thick auburn hair..Now i have a quarter of the thickness. This did affect me more than i thought.

Bone and Muscle Loss

Oestrogen plays a key role in bone density and muscle mass. With its decline, osteoporosis becomes a real concern. For some, like me, bone loss happens rapidly. You might not notice it until you take a test and realise your bones are now more fragile than you ever imagined. I only found out i had osteoporosis because in a 6 month period – I broke my knee, and broke 4 ribs – all at seperate times. The dr suggested a bone density test to confirm.

Vaginal Changes and Libido

Vaginal atrophy is one of the lesser-discussed but deeply impactful symptoms of menopause. Without oestrogen, the vaginal tissues thin and lose elasticity, leading to discomfort, dryness, and even pain. Libido often takes a nosedive, which can have a profound effect on relationships and self-esteem.

menopause

Emotional and Cognitive Shifts: The Mental and Emotional Weight of Menopause

Menopause isn’t just a physical journey; it’s an emotional one as well. Hormonal fluctuations can bring mood swings, anxiety, and even bouts of depression. You might find yourself feeling joyful one moment and in tears the next, struggling to make sense of your emotions.

Cognitively, brain fog can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Forgetting words mid-sentence, misplacing items, or struggling to focus can be incredibly frustrating. These mental shifts can make you feel like you’re losing parts of yourself, adding to the sense of disorientation.


The Spiritual Journey: Rediscovering Yourself

Despite its challenges, menopause is also an opportunity for deep self-discovery. This phase of life forces us to slow down, reflect, and reassess what truly matters. It invites us to release old expectations and embrace the wisdom we have gained over the years. We can find ourselves asking ‘ is this how i want to spend my life?’

For many women, menopause is a time of awakening. It’s a chance to let go of societal conditioning, to step into a new version of ourselves that is more aligned with who we truly are. It is a time to honour the past while embracing the future with curiosity and courage.


Practical Tips for Navigating Menopause

While menopause can be challenging, there are ways to make the journey smoother. Here are some practical strategies that have helped me and many other women:

1. Prioritise Self-Care

Your body is changing, and it needs your support. Gentle movement like yoga, walking, and stretching can help maintain muscle strength and flexibility. Rest when you need to and listen to your body’s signals.

One thing I do now is focus on my Lymphatic system – effectively our immune system. This lymph system can’t move on its own, and needs help to move waste and detox..it has been a game changer for me.

2. Focus on Nutrition

  • Increase calcium and vitamin D for bone health. – of course after consultation with GP.
  • Eat plenty of healthy fats to support hormone production.
  • Reduce sugar and processed foods to minimise inflammation.

3. Stay Hydrated

Dry skin, brain fog, and fatigue can all be worsened by dehydration. Drinking plenty of water can help combat these symptoms.

4. Consider Alternative Therapies

Many women find relief through acupuncture, herbal supplements, energy work and essential oils. Experiment to see what works best for you. There are so many alternative ways to support ourselves

5. Seek Support

Talk to other women who are going through the same experience. A supportive community can make all the difference.

6. Embrace Change

Rather than resisting the changes, see this as an opportunity to rediscover yourself. What do you truly want from this stage of life? What can you let go of? What new passions can you explore?


Are You Ready to Navigate Menopause with Support and Confidence?

Menopause is a journey that can feel isolating, confusing, and overwhelming – but you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re ready to stop struggling and start embracing this new chapter with clarity, support, and empowerment, my Doing It Differently coaching package is here for you.

👉 Click here to learn more and book your session today.

Let’s do this differently—on your terms. 💜

Nichole-13

Hi, I'm Nichol Stark Soulful Business Coach

I’m a heart-centred mentor and coach for gorgeous souls wanting to break free and take their business from hobby to full-time success. My one-to-one or group coaching helps you uncover your true purpose so you can grow a business using strategy, strength and intuition.

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